Kurtis' Journal
Contents
I was prepared, I had always been prepared. I alone saw the threat of the war. They said it was over, that the Tlaxans had surrendered. Not all soldiers fight with permission from their government. It was foolish to lower our defenses. As a kid, I was told stories of the Blackroot War. These stories focused on the heroes of the empire. They thought they would make me braver and more courageous. Perhaps even inspire me to join the military myself. They were wrong. I saw nothing but death and destruction in those stories. I wanted nothing more than to escape them. Instead I became enslaved by them. As I heard more and more stories it became harder to escape from them. I became convinced that the war wasn't truly over, merely postponed. I put all of my money into building a bunker. It became my home and I grew more distant from the people I had grown up with. It was a difficult decision, but they were too blinded by their optimism to see the threat. Then the day I had been preparing for came. My defensive wards detected a group gathering in the forest outside of Farr. I rushed back to the city. It was a wasted effort. They called me crazy. They ignored me. It wasn't a look of anger I got, but one of pity. Even my brother stayed behind, but he promised he would get to safety.
I escaped back to my bunker and turned on all of my defenses. They grew closer and closer to the city. Shortly, the sounds of battle began. My bunker spared me from the screams, but I heard enough to let me know my paranoia was justified. The battle went on for what seemed like ages, but I'm sure it wasn't actually all that long. Right when I thought it would never end I heard the worst sound in my life, an implosion. It wasn't just a loud sound, but also one that seemed to suck all sound within itself. It was a sound so terrible that I was sure I would die. A sound so loud that the silence that followed it was all the more terrifying.
I didn't dare to leave my bunker, but I went to peek outside. It was only then that I realized a critical flaw in my design. The battle above had been so violent that my way out was blocked by rubble. I had enough supplies to last for several lifetimes, but surely nothing could have survived a battle like that. Who would be left to save me?
I must have been in there for at least a month. I had been right, but no one believed me. I alone survived and it was all my fault. If only I had been less dramatic in my preparations. If only I hadn't become known as a crazy man. If only my brother had came back with me. If only I wasn't alone in my guilt.
Then one day he came into my life. A man walked into my bunker. I rushed to check the door, and found it was still blocked. How he got in is something I may never learn, but that isn't important now. At first I assumed I was going even more insane, but he was real. He was my savior, here to free me from my suffering.
The man didn't introduce himself, but had an offer for me. He would free me from my prison. In return I would work for him and offer up memories for some reason. In a normal situation I would have refused him outright. Even if just trapped I would have refused him, but he offered me a way to forget. To be free of my guilt, I would have done just about anything. He gave me time to get my affairs in order. I left a note for Eowen, hopefully he finds the new me if he survived.
Pain, always the pain.
Where am I? Who am I?
Sell my item? To whom? Why? There are people to buy it? Are they in this pain if they don't buy things?
If I do that will this pain end, or merely pause?
Why do I exist? Is this pain what it means to live?
Eowen, for the first time in who knows how long my mind is clear and I remember you, but I know it will not last. Please do not continue looking for me. It will only lead to you becoming like me. Live your life as if I was dead. I was a fool, and this is the fate that I deserve.
Please forgive me.